Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
