It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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