I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
