We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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