ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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