I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
21 Texts That Prove All the Magic Happens in Parking Lots
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one