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• (918): View more from Oklahoma

  The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me

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• (214): View more from Texas

  My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.

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• (831): View more from California

  It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...

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• (315): View more from New York

  found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.

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• (336): View more from North Carolina

  after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (716): View more from New York

  We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart

  (763): View more from Minnesota

  Die.

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• (207): View more from Maine

  If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you

  (1-207): View more from Maine

  Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.

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• (480): View more from Arizona

  He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.

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