i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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