yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
But theres a keg here and me gusta
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.