So drunk its hurt
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
