best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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