i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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