Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
