fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
