you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
