you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Randomize
