A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
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