Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
