I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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