Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I have post one night stand depression
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