He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
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We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
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I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
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