I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I think I just shit out all my problems.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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