If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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