This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
