During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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