Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
tell me about the fingering
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
