tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
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