i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize