I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Someone shit on the floor
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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