Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
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