We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
