He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
