Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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