Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
