dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
