I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
