its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
