i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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