Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
