fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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