Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
