I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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