Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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