ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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