..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
