I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
