PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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