My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
