Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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