i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize