Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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