This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
