I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
