do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
