She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
it glows. i had to have it.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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