I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
