i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
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i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
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