HIV tests are more positive than that guy
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
