im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Randomize
