I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
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