I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize