She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize