there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
He better not be in your backpack
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
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